Welcome to the Gay Teen Support here at Gay Authors. While the site is primarily about gay stories, it is also about supporting gay and questioning teens. We wanted a place where teens could go to get some answers or support. Many teens discover stories first before going elsewhere. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it is a good start. If you have any suggestions, please email teensupport at gayauthors.org. There are links here about figuring out if you're gay, about coming out and about suicide prevention. If you are a gay or questioning teen or if you are considering suicide, please take the time to look through this page.
This Post was pulled from the net. Poster Unknown, but the advice is sound.
"Suicide is not chosen;
it happens when pain
exceeds resources for
coping with pain."
That's all it's about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or
flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn't even mean that you really
want to die,it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with
right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually
collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain
standing.
(That's why it's useless for someone to tell you to "cheer up!",of
course you would, if you could.)
Don't accept it if someone tells you, "that's not enough to be suicidal about". There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.
When pain exceeds pain coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things:
- find a way to reduce your pain, or
- find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
Now I want to tell you six things to think about.
The first thing you need to hear is that people do get through this,even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
The next thing I want to suggest to you is to give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, "I will wait 24 hours before I do anything." Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things,just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn't mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action.
for gay youth:
Trevor Talkline for suicidal gay youth
1 866 4-U-TREVOR
The Trevor Talkline
The Trevor Talkline was established in August of 1998 and is a suicide
talkline for gay/lesbian/questioning youth. It's a toll free talkline,
which means it's free and no evidence that you made the call will show
up on the phone bill.
Confidentiality is a top priority
The counselors at the talkline are are trained to deal with any kind of crisis. All are trained in gay and lesbian/confused/questioning and coming out issues; all are non judgmental,they will not make any judgments on you regardless of how you identify your sexuality or even if you can't identify it. According to Mary Graber, a crisis counselor who works at the talkline, here is what happens when someone calls:
Lethality Assessment
The first thing the counselor does is ask questions in order to understand
how high a risk of suicide there is. They ask questions like "Do
you feel like killing yourself?" and, if so, they will ask, "Have
you ever made an attempt before at killing yourself?" Usually someone
who has made a previous attempt is at higher risk. They will also ask
"Do you have a plan of how to kill yourself?" Usually someone
who has a plan about how they are going to kill themselves is at an even
higher risk.
Further Assessment
The counselor will ask questions that try to get at why you are feeling
like killing yourself. Some reasons are:
Loneliness [no friends, no supportive family, no boyfriend/girlfriend]
Depression
No resources or help
Fear
They will then ask more questions about why you are experiencing these
or any other reasons you give, in order to try to give support. According
to Mary Graber, for many people with whom she speaks on the talkline it's
the first time they've ever said to any person that they think they might
be gay. She said that just having someone to say this to is often a relief.
Referral
Depending on the way things go, Mary and the other counselors then give the appropriate referrals. Usually they do this by asking your zip code and then they give you a list of contact numbers of people you can trust to help you. Sometimes this is a crisis center, sometimes it's P FLAG [Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays], or other groups that might be helpful.
Mary said that anyone is welcome to call the Trevor Talkline, even if you just need someone to talk to and aren't feeling suicidal. Maybe you want to call the talkline with one of your friends present, that's OK too. The key is there's someone there for you and things will be much better when you call. Talking to someone makes all the difference in the world.
just 24 hours.
You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by visiting Bliss. You can
do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this post. Keep going,
and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment,
acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.
Are you feeling down because you're young and gay?
The third thing we want to tell you is: it will get better. In a short
time you'll be an adult and you can be free of this misery. Being gay
can be great.
The fourth thing is this:
people often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain.
Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it.
You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
The fifth thing is this:
some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because
they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead
of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless
things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their
fears, not about you.
But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time,
and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital,
or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for
you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell
someone what's going on with you.
It is okay to ask for help.
Try The Samaritans by phone or e mail worldwide, or the front of your phone book for a crisis line, call a psychotherapist, carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen.
But don't give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with
this alone.
Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot
of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you
need to regain your balance.
The last thing I want you to know right now is this:
Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside,
you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea.
So are the various self help groups available both in your community and
on the Internet and various online services.
Well, it's been a few minutes and you're still with me. I'm really glad.
Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should
reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself
is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said
that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you
have pain. So let's give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...!
until they outnumber your sources of pain.
Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping
resource we can give you is another human being to talk with.
If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling
and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources
by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won't be the last. There
are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It's time
to start looking around for one of them.
Now:
I'd like you to call someone.
Here are some helplines and other resources:
trevor talkline for suicidal gay youth [usa]
1 866 4-U-TREVOR
crisis intervention center [usa]
1 800 999 9999
london lesbian & gay switchboard [uk]
020 7837 7324
more online resources to help you
www.metanoia.org/suicide/
Depression/Suicide help :
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide
http://www.have-a-heart.com
Gay/Coming Out:
http://www.gay.com
http://gaylife.about.com
http://gaylife.about.com/cs/comingout
Help with Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Sexual Abuse etc.
http://www.way2hope.org
Gay Teen Links
Suicide prevention and hotlines
Youth advocacy resources
Other links
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White Ribbon Campaign Raising Awareness about Gay-Teen Suicide And remembering those who we've lost |
